Your Relationships - Family
What Kind of Parent Are You?
Rhonda Robinson
Back to E-zine Home
Rhonda Robinson
What kind of parent do you consider yourself?
Parents have traditionally viewed themselves in the context of their discipline style- whether or not they were considered strict. But have you ever thought of your parenting style as conservative or liberal?
Conservative or liberal philosophies go much deeper than who you vote for. It is a lens by which the world around you is viewed, and how you react to people and to circumstances.
Let’s do a little situation ethics test and see where you fall.
Let’s say little Billy and Steve is sitting around the table playing a game of “Sorry” while their mother sits close by.
Billy begins to cry. His mother, naturally concerned asks Billy why he’s crying. “Steve keeps bumping me out, he just keeps landing on me. He’s being mean.” Little Billy whines as he tucks his head down into his folded arms and continues to pout. “It’s not fair,” he complains.
How do you react?
Who needs the discipline? Is this crisis in need of parental intervention at all?
Do you:
A) Scold Steve for being “mean” to his little brother. Pointing to the fact that he is now crying, and his feelings are hurt. Do you point out that he is littler, and ask Steve if it is more important to win, than to take care of his little brother?
B) Scold Billy for crying and blaming his brother for his misfortune.
Each answer holds with it a message for a young child. It’s certainly the easiest route to simply glance over the computer screen and tell the children to “play nice” or you’ll put the game away. However, parenting takes action. Which action seems like the one you would choose?
If you chose A, to scold Steve the message is a crippling one for both Steve and Billy. You are punishing the boy for winning. In any real contest, someone excels. “Sorry” is a game of chance, nothing more. The playing field is even as long as you can count. There is no unfair advantage.
In this scenario, the winner is made responsible for his brother’s failure, and not recognized for his winning. Guilt is misplaced, and a victim is born.
Parents often take this route without thinking of the ramifications or the underlying message it gives.
By choosing B, at first glance it seems to be cold. Images of parents of old telling little boys not to cry, to “buck-up” and not care about his feelings haunt our psyche.
There is a grain of truth here. It is part of our job as parents to teach children how to get a hold of their emotions. They are young, and emotions are raw and can be overwhelming. I don’t know any adult that wants to be at the mercy of his or her emotions.
But more importantly, Billy has to learn that it is wrong to blame others for our own misfortune. To cry, and try to get his brother in trouble, in an attempt to level the playing field is not a trait you want him to take into adulthood—unless of course you want to raise a Leftist.
It’s not hard to find this scenario playing itself out in the adult world. The notion that someone is poor, only because someone else is rich or that you don’t have a job because some CEO got a huge bonus, is a common theme today. It’s used to spread discontent, anger and envy.
No mother wants to see her children suffer, even if it’s only in a game of “Sorry.” Our nature is to kiss it and make it better. There is a time and place for that. Children will fall down, and get scrapes and they need someone there to make it better.
But making “it” better is seldom the easiest answer. The conservative minded parent will dust off his child’s knees, and help him to strengthen his legs, teach him to run and how to get up when he falls.
The liberal parent will gird the child with kneepads and helmet, and when he falls blame the uneven ground.
Is your parenting style producing a new generation of victims, or survivors?
Parents have traditionally viewed themselves in the context of their discipline style- whether or not they were considered strict. But have you ever thought of your parenting style as conservative or liberal?
Conservative or liberal philosophies go much deeper than who you vote for. It is a lens by which the world around you is viewed, and how you react to people and to circumstances.
Let’s do a little situation ethics test and see where you fall.
Let’s say little Billy and Steve is sitting around the table playing a game of “Sorry” while their mother sits close by.
Billy begins to cry. His mother, naturally concerned asks Billy why he’s crying. “Steve keeps bumping me out, he just keeps landing on me. He’s being mean.” Little Billy whines as he tucks his head down into his folded arms and continues to pout. “It’s not fair,” he complains.
How do you react?
Who needs the discipline? Is this crisis in need of parental intervention at all?
Do you:
A) Scold Steve for being “mean” to his little brother. Pointing to the fact that he is now crying, and his feelings are hurt. Do you point out that he is littler, and ask Steve if it is more important to win, than to take care of his little brother?
B) Scold Billy for crying and blaming his brother for his misfortune.
Each answer holds with it a message for a young child. It’s certainly the easiest route to simply glance over the computer screen and tell the children to “play nice” or you’ll put the game away. However, parenting takes action. Which action seems like the one you would choose?
If you chose A, to scold Steve the message is a crippling one for both Steve and Billy. You are punishing the boy for winning. In any real contest, someone excels. “Sorry” is a game of chance, nothing more. The playing field is even as long as you can count. There is no unfair advantage.
In this scenario, the winner is made responsible for his brother’s failure, and not recognized for his winning. Guilt is misplaced, and a victim is born.
Parents often take this route without thinking of the ramifications or the underlying message it gives.
By choosing B, at first glance it seems to be cold. Images of parents of old telling little boys not to cry, to “buck-up” and not care about his feelings haunt our psyche.
There is a grain of truth here. It is part of our job as parents to teach children how to get a hold of their emotions. They are young, and emotions are raw and can be overwhelming. I don’t know any adult that wants to be at the mercy of his or her emotions.
But more importantly, Billy has to learn that it is wrong to blame others for our own misfortune. To cry, and try to get his brother in trouble, in an attempt to level the playing field is not a trait you want him to take into adulthood—unless of course you want to raise a Leftist.
It’s not hard to find this scenario playing itself out in the adult world. The notion that someone is poor, only because someone else is rich or that you don’t have a job because some CEO got a huge bonus, is a common theme today. It’s used to spread discontent, anger and envy.
No mother wants to see her children suffer, even if it’s only in a game of “Sorry.” Our nature is to kiss it and make it better. There is a time and place for that. Children will fall down, and get scrapes and they need someone there to make it better.
But making “it” better is seldom the easiest answer. The conservative minded parent will dust off his child’s knees, and help him to strengthen his legs, teach him to run and how to get up when he falls.
The liberal parent will gird the child with kneepads and helmet, and when he falls blame the uneven ground.
Is your parenting style producing a new generation of victims, or survivors?
Back to E-zine Home
REAL WOMEN
TEAM OF WRITERS
Places to Listen
- KDIA
1640 AM - San Francisco
Mon-Sat. 4:30 PM PST -
KFNX
AM 1100 - Phoenix, AZ
Thurs. 7-8:00 pm MTN
Following Lou Dobbs
Also Streamed online Live - NPLR - National Pro-Life Radio
Mon-Sat 4:30 PM - 5:00 PM PST
Mon-Fri 9:30 AM - 10:00 AM PST - Listen Online
Listen Anytime - Show Archives
More Ways To Connect
ON THE AIR
4:30 PM PST - M, W, F, SA
KDIA AM1640 San Francisco Bay Area
(Also Streamed Online Live Here)
3:00 PM PST - Tues. & Thurs.
LIVE! Show HERE for BlogTalk Radio
Call-In Number: (424) 222-5360
Join us in the Chat Room
UPCOMING EVENTS
Study Groups
Winter 2012
"The Sky's Not Falling"
by Chuck Colson
See details below.
Watch for in 2012
WOMANTalk Spring Luncheon and Conference
Operation Heartlift Event
Calendar page
Get information of where Sharon, Debra and Audrey will be speaking next by signing up for our free email updates at the top of the page.
Invite Sharon and members of our WOMANTalk Team to speak to your group. Contact: 707-322-3632
STUDY GROUPS
Winter 2012: January - March
Study Groups
Winter 2012: January - March
"The Sky's Not Falling -
Living Fearlessly in Turbulent Times"
by Chuck Colson
See book details here
Want to start a study group? Contact: TALK@changingworldviews.com
Request Study Group Talking Points:
TALK@changingworldviews.com
Click here for more information on our Study Groups & How to Join
Study Groups
Winter 2012: January - March
"The Sky's Not Falling -
Living Fearlessly in Turbulent Times"
by Chuck Colson
See book details here
Want to start a study group? Contact: TALK@changingworldviews.com
Request Study Group Talking Points:
TALK@changingworldviews.com
Click here for more information on our Study Groups & How to Join
OPERATION HEARTLIFT
Thank you to everyone who supported
Mission: Christmas Care
We were able to send Survival Bracelets, goodies & cards to a wehole Battalion of Special Forces Troops in Afghanistan this Christmas.
To help cover extra shipping costs please Send Your Donation to:
Changing Worldviews/Operation Heartlift
PO Box 750624
Petaluma, CA 94975-0624
CONTACT: (707)322-3632
Thank you!
Click here to see OHL website
OPERATION ARC
OPERATION ARC (At-Risk-Children)
Send your donation to:
Changing Worldviews/Operation ARC
PO Box 750-624
Petaluma, CA 94975-0624
WHAT OTHERS ARE SAYING
"Thank you, Sharon, for the role in which you provide a platform for Troops, as well as us Veterans, to be able to "Voice"; by allowing us to be part of something bigger than ourselves in making a difference in society and in our world. Again, Thank You." -Yolanda Jones, OIF Veteran & author of Scarred, But Not Broken"
"It is great that America has been able to help so many other nations. It has been able to do so because it was first taking care of its own families and citizens. Now, in a time where we are facing an economic crisis, it is time to once again look at investing in America, so it can continue to help others as well. Thank you Sharon for showing ways Americans can support America during its time of weakness." -Scott Brown
RATINGS
Gives Sharon 100% Credibility
Rank in Journalism
Read Sharon Also At:
FrontPageMagazine
The People's Cube
The Patriot Post
Family Security Matters
INDEX